my brother, for whom I am very fond of. ->
Hi everyone…I’m on my lunch break from work…It’s been a slow day. I woke up tired, got up, got ready and fell asleep,again. I swear I can’t win for losing. I feel so overwhelmed with life…but today is a special day. some of the most important teachers in my life have been African American, and I just want to Thank God that society has come far enough that I have had the opportunity to learn from them…specifically Mrs. Dr Leonard, and my second Mama Mrs. Nadine. Everyone in the whole world should know how much I love these two ladies…especially Mrs. Nadine. My heart loves and my brain learns compassionately because of them…THank you to all the amazing African american women who guide and teach us girls in the world.
I got new glasses, and they make me feel sassy! I haven’t had much time to write lately, but I need to. Mentally I have been in a hole….just sad, and lost , and lonely…my patient and supportive husband has been just that, reminding me where to be grounded…in him. I was trying to give up on my ambitions…and then, a light turned on. I got new glasses, got commissioned to do some paintings and an opportunity to correct my school mistakes… I’m still me, same as I always was…but hopeful…I guess. Sorry I haven’t written, I have just been at a loss about a lot, but I am finding the answers, and it’s very reinvigorating!
It’s weird how sometimes loneliness can be eye opening….I am not alive to preach…I survived to live a life of purpose,though….and sometimes I feel sooooo alone in a world so big and spectacular. I just feel like I failed my Fathers ( all three…Bio,step,and heavenly.) Then I step into a frigid lonely , empty neighborhood, painfully tired and cold, and I see this blooming….and it’s like God winked…and said…”you’re not done yet….their are more miracles to behold, and more love to provide”..and for a moment, my anxieties dissipate… and my hope is renewed…..
I am so tired, and trying think of things to look forward to…My enthusiasm is waning…I want something major to wrap my brain around…but, right now….I got nothing! I took an incomplete for the semester last semester, and my grade still has not posted yet…I am praying I get a B….my grades have been hurting lately…but I still have an “A” average….I just need to get organized…I lead a wonderful life, and my husband provides so well for me…he bought me some new clothes, reading glasses, and a new phone and phone case……but I feel like I am getting sick, like my immune system is hurting…he is not doing anything wrong…I’m just having a moment…..I need to go back to swimming, start using off time to really relax, and change….refocus… my mind….that’s a big one…I guess I am still working on the resolution thing….
Yesterday, I went to the Bull Bash with my husband…What a fun time! It was a great way to start the new year off…but what made it even better, were the last few minutes. I believe I witnessed a miracle. A Guy riding a bull, was thrown from the bull, and knocked unconscious…he was then, pushed by the bull around the arena…he was nearly stepped on by the bull, and was hit so hard he couldn’t move..seconds later, he was conscious, again…and, the paramedics checked him…he leaped to his feet and walked off the arena, with a score of second place!!!! I am calling it, this is going to be a year for miracles!!! I see them all the time, I believe….but I am going to look for them, and try to account for them,because life is amazing…and it’s simply a miracle that the sun comes up every day…for me…WOw, I am so happy I got to see that amazing thing happen!!!!
I am worthy of my Mom’s praise
Blogging can be therapeutic
Who says Snow white was a size small
Two jobs and school, piece of cake!
New friends do Exist
SLAMS for NAMI, yes please!
“Make new friends, but keep the old!”
Love is food to the soul
Beauty is a miracle
Evaluate more closely,
Stand up and be counted,
Only choose if I’m lonely,
Let my hair grow out,
Use a larger vocabulary
Trust in love, and put it before Money
“I” statements won’t follow with apologies
Or lengthy explanations
Never quit striving for