I know,that everyone has bad days…and yesterday was one of those for me. Today feels like its not going to be better…but its moments like this when I rise to the occasion. I have a strong personal belief system…and I am not writing this blog to tell people what to believe…I can’t and I wouldn’t…but my heart is saying a silent prayer. Everyday, I go into the same coffee shop, and sit down, and eat the same breakfast. I see a lot of the same people, and sometimes I see people I knew from my past. Yesterday, I saw my Sunday school teacher.He came up to me and immediately started asking about my parents, my work, and my marriage…It was loud, and very forward, and I was relieved…because…I felt like he could have been real quiet and shy about everything, or stand-offish like many do…and then today, I received an email that reminds me of my faith,again
I have always been one who believed in Truth with a capital T…the concept that, no one, including me, knows the whole spiritual story…and I am open to everyone’s belief systems, and feel that they can offer something valid…but that got me thinking about my spiritual vision. Mine is not the full picture, either….and so when I have bad days, I remember that my faith tells me something bigger knows what he or she is doing, and that if I keep giving MY best…not what my parents want, or the community I live in, or the people I work with…but MY level best…my path will lead me to a much higher purpose.
Even on bad days, I’m blessed beyond words to have two jobs, to be in graduate school, and to be paying my bills, myself. I am responsible, accountable, and a genuinely good person. I am honest, even if it can hurt me…and I will help anyone….even if they turn around and back stab me afterword…I went to the movies with someone around Christmas time, when she was desperately lonely, and having a bad day….and I was honest with her…sharing information about my personal life, and my family…and then she turned around and tried to run me off…she is mean and spiteful, jealous and shallow…but I know that now…if she was ever in the desperate situation she was in, again, I would probably try to help…but I know she is not my friend, and I pray about that…I don’t need to be her friend…but I need to be in control of me…I have friends….so I know my faith is right for me. Because…yesterday, someone told me that they believed angels walk the earth, and I believe that,too. My Aunt says ” People come into your life, for a reason, a season, or a lifetime”…angels are the life time folks…the ones that could disappear forever, and yet when you are at your lowest low, they reach out to you…they are your friend …when you are ashamed, and broken, and sad. The rest don’t matter…Because the limits we have in vision are meant to guide us…we can’t help everyone and fix everything, ever…so we only see the parts applicable to our path…and that’s ok…that’s the limits of vision. That’s the limits of my vision.