Fall

I feel like I am falling in love with life again. After our traditional scorching southern summer…Where I live, we get blessed with a beautiful fall. The reds and Oranges and Golds….such magnificent colors…my birthday is coming up…and the anniversary of when my husband and I first met. I remember it like it was yesterday.

My sweetheart of a friend, Wendy, was trying to get me out of the house. I had mostly spent the whole year in solitude…any free time I had…I would just sit. I would sit in the dark, alone, and rehearse the life I was going to live when I got the courage up. I had experienced so many bad bad things….and I felt like no one could possibly love me. It was because I had yet to fall in love for myself. My friend took me out on a blind double date…and her date was friends with my husband. My date was the driver, and was already in the truck…he was drunk and completely ridiculous acting…I walked in the bar with her date, after my date stepped on the break in the parking spot. I had a bump on my head and a tiara….see,when I was unbuckling my seat belt,my date deliberately stepped on the breaks, and my head hit the windshield. It was November 18th, and I was going to be 25 in 2 days. I walked in and all these men were drunk, kissing me on the cheek, and telling me happy birthday. He asked. He asked if he could kiss me on the cheek, and I said yes. Then I slinked over to the corner and dropped myself in a booth. I had an over sized pea coat on, and bright red lipstick….and I motioned for him to come talk to me…He did, and we talked all night…when I was too tired to talk, anymore, I told him I was going to call a cab. I had not finished the only beer he bought me, and new I was sober…I definitely know the difference.  He said, “If you trust me, I will drive you to your car”…in most cases people, I would never do this…but we had talked for hours and I was sober…risky, still, though, I know.  So, I said “okay,” and he took me to my car. When we got there…he said ” can I end the night the way it started”…I shrugged and nodded, and he kissed me on the cheek. We had exchanged numbers at the bar…so  the next day, I called him. I asked him if he wanted to come to my family dinner for my, 25th birthday. He said “No.” (Can you believe that people? I cannot believe that!!!…)but he followed it up with ” we can do something else, though. I just don’t want to meet your family on the first date”….I understood that, and so I asked him what he wanted to do.  He said he didn’t know…so I suggested the brilliant and spectacular Christmas lights display in the neighboring town.  I drove to pick him up…and made him jump in the car at the light while it was green.. I kept moving…and he just leaped in.

Let me tell you guys out there, It was an absolute perfect date! We had entertainment, I felt in control of the surroundings, we could talk without bothering anyone else…and I asked all the necessary questions…

“Do you have kids?

“No.”

“Ok, good.”

“Do you have a job?”

“Yes”

“Ok, good”

…he interjected ” Are you a Christian?”

I said , “Yes”

He said” ok, good”….

…We talked for hours…we drove through some of the lights and walked through the others…and then we went to dinner.

At dinner we went to a restaurant with a beautiful mountain view, and it was too dark to see it. Our waiter was partially hearing impaired and very eager to serve us…so we were talking very loud,we were so nervous and clumsy….I had chicken and dumplings which I spilled on myself, and he had a reuben….He did, too.  Then I drove him home….

We dated for 6 years before we got married, and I said yes in that same Christmas lights display, but standing in the winter wonderland! Instead of driving. We walked 5 miles that night, and I was crabby,because we had just walked for 7 days all over NYC..However, he slipped the ring on my finger, and said ” would you make a life with me?”.and the following march, we got married.

Now, Fall, for all the fall seasonal stuff, is wonderful…but I Had to fall down, to fall in love. My husband doesn’t let me be a wimp…he doesn’t let me live in self- defeat…he believes in me….so girls, guys…whatever, when you pick your mate, pick someone with that quality.

My husband’s selfless gestures that impress me are not based on rings, though I love mine…he does not ever give up on me, ever….ever….and everyone else in my life, at some point, has. He found my shine. People…That’s why I love fall.  We had two ceremonies That March…one beautiful private one in snowy  Cedar Rapids, Iowa, and two weeks later, a blessing from my childhood priest, in some beautiful private gardens….between the two ceremonies…we honeymooned in Europe, and I participated in a reality tv show, that I love Called ” Say Yes to the Dress, ATL!!! If you want to watch, the episode is called “Playing Chicken” and was in season 6….Happy Fall, y’all!

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Pieces of them

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Laura                                            &                          Kathryn

My name is Laura Kathryn. I was born November 20th, 1981. When my parents were pregnant  with me, they believed that I was going to be a boy and the next Messiah. They had picked out the name Cosmos Hagood, and I was going to be born on thanksgiving. My family only has one true tradition, and that is telling us our birth story on our birthday. Well, I’m told that I was born breach, with no pain meds. When I popped out of the womb, the doctor told my bio dad, that I was a girl…And he refused to believe it. When he was not in the room, my mom named me after my grandmothers….and here I am today. I carry a beautiful legacy of two women, who are very much alive and involved in my life. I love them at an unbelievable depth of respect, and I know that God did something right when he ( or she) threw me together, and said come on sweetie…you are going to be the link between all the wisdom and beauty your parents don’t appreciate. They have so much to teach me. They are amazing human beings. Laura, aka Me-ma, teaches me honesty,ethics,and compassion. Kathryn teaches me about adventure, and discovery, and open mindedness and spirituality….These are two People God blessed me with…and God forbid when they pass on…I will know who I am, because I am pieces of them.

When you feel the heat!

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I like this photo, It was hot in there, and I wanted to get up and run in circles…but I smiled, and silently thought….when this is all over, it will be beautiful. While this picture is about my hair enduring heat to be beautiful…we all could take a lesson from this experience….because hair is dead cells, and yet they can look very much alive, because death can transform someone, and like one’s hair, it can live on in our heads, taking shape and having a beautiful purpose. When you feel the heat, remember that.

Then and Now, Halloween

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My favorite Halloween costume I ever had was being a punk rock princess. It spoke to me! I tip my hat to tough girls, and have aspired,always, to be like them…but at my core. I am a girl, that will not settle for less then love and compassion. Featured image

Featured image  even when life gets scary…

Because just like Halloween, even scary can be beautiful!

It wasn’t to you

Ah yes,

it’s you again.

I know those eyes,

and how they pierce me within.

You’re murky,

You’re sneaky.

And cunning.

And sly.

I’m not and I know it

From within my third eye.

I’m on a path of  love and support,

So, whatever you’re mission, it’s time you abort.

Move on in your thoughts,

Don’t mess with me.

I’m stronger than you know…and can already see

A life of ambition, of dreams fulfilled,

A march on Washington,

Up to capital Hill!

You want to help?

Move out of my view

I said “I do”

And it wasn’t to you.