Grey Matters

Admittedly, I often feel like if there was a clear cut answer, I would be better at everything I do. I understand the frustrations that my peers have with me about my individual approach to life. I have a boss who told me that I think in black and white, and this is a gray profession. I started thinking, though. Grey matter… like, brain matter is the place I need to put all my investment. I am not quitting my jobs or complaining about my bosses. I just had an epiphany, that might be helpful to others.

I have very low self esteem, and feel often like I am battling the current when I do ” self- talk” and ” positive affirmations.” It’s like the grey in me, is defiant, and refuses to see what people say, and give them the benefit of doubt, that they are giving you their honest opinion. Sometimes I am better at hearing the negative instead of thinking about the positive.

My black and white photo that I took probably 8 years ago now, reminds me of Living in the gray areas. I posted a photo of myself that was done in black and white, and my skin is a glowing silvery gray. That made me realize, I do live in the gray, and I also live in the grey. It matters what people think of us…because we are a global community, and branding has made it so easy to make or break an ambition.My ambitions are far and wide. If I can change the way I think about myself…I can be comfortable with the gray again. I can see the beauty in the awkwardness, and love where I am right now. So for the day, that is my personal goal. Often I write these with a lesson I have learned. Today it is…that living in the gray, and thinking with the grey….can carry you far into a beautiful experience to enhance your life, and help you to make monumental changes, without monumental sacrifices….as usual…I leave you with a poem written by me.

Think about it everyone,

We all have come so far,

I know that everyone one of us

Has hidden battle scars.

The line across my head

And the scar upon my wrist

Is only part of the story

That’s leading me to happiness

I do not have all answers

I do not know it all

But I stretch the grey I have

And I get up when I fall

Beauty in the gray

Like a photo of black and white

Is not always a catch all for wrongs

Sometimes, it’s exactly right.  Featured image

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